Well, it is day six of the shoot and we are now more than a third of the way through.
Good news, yes?
Yes! Very good news. I am very happy…sort of.
I am sure that I speak for the rest of the cast and crew when I say that the wall is looming and in some cases (mine!) it has already been hit.
Years ago when I made my first short film I worked for months on the screenplay, casting, producing and directing and then, three days before filming, I lost all enthusiasm and just couldn’t drag myself to work on it any more. That is when a very wise person (and I can’t remember who it was for the life of me!) told me that with any project there is a moment where you want to give up, when everything seems too much like hard work, when all the obstacles in your path seem insurmountable and when there seems no option but to just walk away. This is the point at which some projects fall by the wayside, the point at which the decision is made (consciously or not) as to whether the project is of worth and worthy of continuing or whether you are going to take the path of least resistance and let the project slowly slip away.
Those of you who have been following Heretic from the beginning will know that we have reached these decision points before on our journey – when we couldn’t find a church location last year, when Pete had to re-write the whole screenplay for a new location, when we lost our major financial backer and even as recently as three weeks ago when we still didn’t have a main location or enough budget to finance the shoot.
But we, and the people who have supported us on our journey, have believed whole-heartedly in the film from the very beginning and I cannot think of a time when I honestly thought that Heretic would not be made.
And of course we are not about to give up now! The dream is becoming reality. The rushes that we have are beyond anything I could have believed possible on the budget we are working with. The cast are absolutely nailing their performances every single time. I couldn’t be any more pleased and excited by what we are filming.
However, the reality of low-budget film-making is definitely hitting home hard. No sleep (and even less when you have a three month old baby!). Constantly trying to find an extra £50 here or an extra £100 there for one more prop or piece of equipment. No room for error or mistake on the shooting schedule because we have so much to shoot each day. Always up against the clock to fit all the shots into the day. Continuously having to try and schedule pick ups in for the end of the day. And because we have no catering department always worrying about how to feed 25 hungry cast and crew members something delicious and nutritious on a strict budget and within a half hour lunchtime break!
This is why six days into the shoot I feel I have hit the wall and am losing the energy to carry on – and I don’t even have a particularly hard job on the shoot so goodness knows what it is like for Pete and the other heads of departments!
So I would like to end this post with a massive THANK YOU! Thank you to our wonderful cast and crew who have yet to complain, moan or even mention that they are knackered and are still four days away from a day off. Thank you to my Mum and Dad who, as well as helping with catering and transport, have taken over responsibility for Sam and are doing such an amazing job of keeping him happy and entertained whilst Mummy and Daddy are on set all day (we just hope he still recognises us by the time we are finished!) And thank you to all our family and friends who have and continue to support us so wonderfully both financially and emotionally. And a special thank you to the family and friends who have let me ring them up and vent by moaning and crying and screaming down the phone at them over the last couple of days – you know who you are and you are the best!